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Nuclear, genetically modified deer…ornaments

Growing up in the hunting world you get to be pretty familiar with different species of animals. Especially if you’re someone that predominantly hunts larger game animals such as deer, you become very good at identifying different types. I mean there are so many: mule deer, moose, fallow, whitetails, roe deer, red deer, chital (axis), antelope… I could go on but I think you get the point.

I usually have quite a laugh seeing people, that for most of the year have nothing to do with anything deer related, start filling their homes with little statues and decorations of, what I can only assume they think, are cute little ‘reindeer’. But for any person out there that is even remotely knowledgeable on what a reindeer looks like they will very quickly realise that not one of these little trinkets and festive pictures is a reindeer.

Just so everyone is on the same page, let’s go through some pictures and we’ll try to get to the bottom of this.

Let’s start with a REAL-life, actual reindeer.

Reindeer looking backwards

Definitely a reindeer. Note: very distinct antlers. Maybe it’s confusing because Rudolf is missing his red nose *face palm*.

Now that we’ve had a good look at the real deal, let’s look at the first of the nuclear, genetically modified ‘reindeer’ Jess and I found. Here are a couple from Kmart. It’s called the “27cm Glittered Reindeer“. Yes. They actually state that this is a reindeer:

Kmart Fake Reindeer

DEFINITELY NOT A REINDEER. I repeat. NOT. A. Reindeer.

This one is a bit difficult, it seems that they tried to keep this “reindeer” at least semi-realistic but what they ended up with was some kind of inbred, interspecies cross between a mule deer, a red stag and a whitetail. I mean really… let’s just call this one a mystery box deer.

Before we move onto Exhibit 2, I feel like we need another reminder at this point. Real reindeer:

Scandinavian Reindeer sitting

Not a reindeer, despite it’s label:

Glittered Kmart Reindeer

Again from our pals at Kmart – this one looks like Bullwinkle J. Moose had a baby with a roe deer which then grew up inside a nuclear reactor…

Actual reindeer:

Large Reindeer in Snow

So majestic. Probably actually pulled Santa’s sleigh one time.

This next one…I just can’t even.

Ornament from Coles

I mean really with this one… who even knows?! I got nothing. A deer with a perm?

Alright, alright I’m finished! But really, can’t these people get better at giving us real reindeer decorations! We’d even settle for something that just looked like a real deer. It just feels like I’m betraying my own intelligence to purchase these mystical creations, call them reindeer, and decorate my home with their radioactive NOT deer presence.

A message to those who have any part in the creation of these abominations, please, please invoke the power of the mighty Google and just look at one picture of a reindeer. Any deer for that matter. Many thanks from educated hunters everywhere.

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